The Secret Origin of the Bureau

The Government's Bureau of Superheroics dates back to 1929, when The President initiated a comprehensive plan to deal with feared supervillain The Great Depression and appointed mild-mannered ice cream scoop Hubert Heebert as the nation's first Undersecretary of Superheroics. A series of laws known collectively as the WPA ("World-saving Powers Alliance"), encouraged citizens (as a popular WPA slogan put it) to "leap out of the breadlines and over a tall building."

The response was overwhelming. From The Stockbroker (who accidentally discovered his uncanny flying abilities when trying to throw himself off the top of the Metroville Stock Exchange) to the wise-cracking orphan The Apple Polisher, citizens of every age, race, and planet of origin joined the fight against evil. To coordinate their activities, the President authorized the Bureau of Superheroics, after personally writing the mission statement that guides it to this day.

   Bureau of Superheroics Mission Statement

"To support those who take the law into their own gauntleted hands and defend the planet and its population from threats both supervillainous and alien; to administer all Governmental Regulations pertaining to Costumed Crimefighters and to provide Indispensable Guidance in Straightforward Language regarding the same; to eschew Unnecessary Capitalization wherever Practicable; and to revise and publish, from time to time, The Government Manual for New Superheroes."

   The Bureau Today

Today, the Bureau aims to uphold the same high standards set by its first agents. Through regulation of all teleportation device repair shops and supermobile mechanics, we ensure the safety of millions of superheroes. Through frequent inspections of secret headquarters, we ensure their personal comfort. Through scholarships to the nation's most prestigious superuniversities, we ensure their equal access to education.

Yes, wherever men, women, orphans, aliens, and gods of extinct pantheons don costumes and fight evil, the Bureau of Superheroics will be there, ensuring that they have filled out all necessary paperwork well in advance. Stand on any corner in this great country÷from Metroville to Centralopolis, and from Rust Town to New City÷and before long, you will hear a BoS agent calling out the Bureau's rallying cry: Sursum, sursum, et absens!