The publication of The Government Manual for New
Superheroes (and the advertising thereof) is one of the most important tasks
entrusted to the Bureau of Superheroics. By
providing simple, practical advice on everything from
secret headquarters to finding an archnemesis,
The Government Manual for New Superheroes has
a society in which 3 out of every 4 citizens has a
secret crimefighting persona. In fact, experts
if the skintight uniforms of every hero whose career
was launched by The Government Manual were sewn
together, they could wrap up the entire earth, three
times over. (Indeed, this very scheme was attempted by
The latest edition is now in a bookstore near you, unless your local bookstore owner is secretly a nefarious supervillain who wishes to ensure that the local superhero community remains in abject ignorance. If so, the book may also be ordered from Amazon.com.
As times have changed, The Government Manual for New Superheroes has changed with them. Below, a brief timeline of some of the most significant emendations of the work:
* First Edition, 1930: Includes chapter on "Fighting Crime on 5¢ a Day." Readers are warned that "a speakeasy may make a suitable locale for a villain's hidden den of iniquity, but it is no place for the decent hero to locate his secret headquarters."
* Third Edition, 1943: Reference to "the famed
* Eighth Edition, 1954: Reference changed to "the
famed West German hero
* Fifteenth Edition, 1963: 3-page appendix entitled "Crimefighting for Ladies" deleted (sample sentence: "Remember, gals, the best way to help your man capture the baddies is to make sure he's not doing it on an empty stomach!"). Gender-neutral language introduced throughout.
* Nineteenth edition, 1967: First (and last)
edition to include a forward by
* Twenty-third edition, 2005: Newly revised and corrected by the leading super-experts in the field, the latest edition of the book now reflects the most accurate and up-to-date research on the best methods of recruiting a sidekick, joining a team, and making sure your tattered cape will flap dramatically behind you as you stand silhouetted against the setting sun and reflect upon the epic battle you have just won. The book has been enthusiastically reviewed by all but the most villainous of readers.